Stevie Wonder’s part time lover was celebrating today after the EU ruled she was entitled to retrospective equal treatment with his first wife. Londoner Mandy Myers was a regular lover of Wonder when he toured in Europe, and argued that she had been denied a range of benefits enjoyed by his wife, including a shared house, and basic levels of interaction and respect.
‘The facts of this case are well-known, through the surprisingly open statement made by the defendant about Myers on his groundbreaking Square Circle album in 1985,’ noted EU judge Michel Bertrande in court. ‘Mandy’s discriminatory treatment since then has been made significantly worse by the almost hourly reminders of her plight on 80s hour on Heart FM.’
Miss Myers revealed that it had soon become clear to her that she was always going to be playing second fiddle to Wonder’s first wife, and a string of his other lovers. ‘We’d have a great evening together, eating some food, making love, and then suddenly he’d screech at me to leave,’ recalled Myers. ‘‘Call up, ring once, and hang up the phone, to let me know you made it home,’ was all he used to say. Amazing vocal range, but he needs to work on his bedside manner.’
In court, 10 instances of the singer referring to her as his ‘part-time lover’ were documented, a figure which rose to 36 on the 12-inch version. Elaborate codes were also used by Wonder to communicate with Myers, including blinking the living room lights once to let her know his wife was out, and getting her male friends to ring up to pass on a message.
Under the terms of the settlement, Wonder will be obliged to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ each year to Myers. He must also tell her regularly that She is The Sunshine of His Life, and will be required to call her up spontaneously, To Say That He Loves Her, and that he Means it From the Bottom of his Heart.
‘I’m delighted to be able to bring justice here,’ reported Judge Bertrande to the assembled media. ‘All that remains is for me to add my name to the verdict, put it in an envelope, take it across to the courthouse office, and make myself available for any other similar cases. Signed, Sealed, Delivered. I’m Yours.’